Being Your Token Hipster Friend
Artemis: I may be paranoid…but I feel like you invited me to this party with some kind of twisted ulterior motive…
Kammie: What? That’s crazy. Why would you even say that?
Artemis: Well, you introduced me to that dude over there as, “My friend with all the tattoos.”
Kammie: Doug? Oh, he’s just into really nautical things—yachting and stuff. I thought he would like that anchor on your ankle.
Artemis: OK, well, I’m pretty sure you said something to that girl over there to the effect of, “There’s a reason that her name is ART-emis…”
Kammie: Sarah’s really into linguistics. Anyway, you do make all those crazy installation thingies.
Artemis: They’re reliquaries.
Kammie: Whatever.
Artemis: I dunno. I’m cool with the fact that the only thing to drink here is crappy pinot in a box, and that that dude over there with Blackberry clipped to his belt cornered me and forced me into a conversation about Band of Horses for 20 minutes (when everyone knows that shit’s been dead since Mat Brooke left the band). I’m even kind of stoked about those fancy cupcakes that people keep thrusting at me. But, Kammie, seriously… I’m pretty sure that you have some kind of other reason for inviting me to this Upper-East–Side-Dave-Matthews-mellow affair…and I’m kind of pissed.
Kammie: Is it because I told Eliza that you don’t use deodorant?
Artemis: No. It’s because you introduced me to her as your “super, uber hipster friend.”(Photo)
oh god, let me tell you about how i hate being the token “weird” friend. i spent high school being that for most of my drama class. “you’re so grungey and cool!” WRONG. ALSO, MILDLY OFFENSIVE, I HAVE NEVER LIKED PEARL JAM OR WORN LUMBERJACK CLOTHES THNX.
